When I was a kid, I was a quitter. I started things and never quite finished them, I figured I was just doing what I’d liked to do, and when I didn’t like it anymore, that was it. I guess my parents felt that way too so it was okay, they weren’t going to put pressure for me to do something I didn’t like.

But the funny thing is, looking back… I don’t remember quitting something I didn’t like, not one thing. I liked hockey, I extra loved Gym Jazz, I really, really was beginning to like modelling (maybe not modelling per se, I did love the acting part though), I liked english class, I loved astrophysics and photography.

I loved being on stage, whether it was dancing or as an extra in some play, I was so in love with that feeling.

Then why, what made me quit? Why didn’t I keep going? I’m a shy girl, I always was, but as a kid it was way worst and if I didn’t have a really good friend by my side I couldn’t do it, I abandoned things I loved just because of my stupid social fear or whatever. Or even bigger personal issues (I left college first time around and I actually liked it and still had friends there).

When I look back I want to go back there and kick myself in the ass so many times. I could be smarter now, I could have artistic background, I could be athletic, I could even have a better body. I could have started a career.

And I always wanted those things, but I barely talked about it with people, so maybe that’s another reason why no one encourage me to not give up.

As I grew older I began a new trend: don’t even start things. There were so many things I could’ve done because I wanted to. But I didn’t, again for fear, for my inability to talk to someone that I didn’t know or for pure laziness, I don’t know, I just didn’t. And I still don’t.

There are still a million things I’d like to do, and now I think it’s too late for most of it. I know, it’s never too late, I’ve seen those movies too. But it bothers me that I quitted once upon a time, it bothers me that I can’t turn back time, it pisses me off that I can’t stop regretting things and start doing things.

This optimistic (?) post was inspired by Dianna Agron’s awesome post.